You and I, We Were Born to Die
by gurlkicksboy
Summary: Drovana Cousland grew up a Lady of Highever but with the deadly skills to battle should that time come. Never did she think that time would come so soon and after such tragedy. When she is thrust into helping end the Blight with a crew of companions, one of them, much to her surprise, becomes more than she ever expected to find as the world threatens to crumble around her.
1. Chapter 1

I was running as fast I could across the bridge from the camp at Ostagar to the tower, Victor, my Mabari war dog ahead of me and an annoyingly handsome Grey Warden named Alistair ahead of him. I was dodging flying debris left and right when suddenly an explosion knocked me off me feet. Before I could even register the hard fall, I saw Alistair's face above me, hand reaching out to help me up. I took it quickly, ignoring the throbbing of my ass and elbow, the places hit hardest in the fall.

"Careful, Drovana, the last thing I need is you falling off the bridge before we can even reach the tower," He winked, "Come on, it's just up here," He continued, his deep voice barely audible over the sounds of battle around us. We took off again, running even faster. By the time we reached the end of the bridge and our destination came into view it became plainly obvious that the tower was overrun. A mage came sprinting down toward us yelling, "The tower is taken! They came up through the tunnels!" Alistair, Victor, and I halted in front of the mage and I used the opportunity to catch my breath.

"We have to light that beacon." Alistair insisted to the mage and then we were off again. The wind was whipping my chestnut hair around my face and before we knew it we were running into a group of Darkspawn. My instincts kicked in. I began slashing my swords into them like butter. I was kicking and slashing because my life depended on it. My life. Maker, what was my life now? My parent's were dead, and for all I knew so was my brother, Fergus. My home had been taken and I was a Grey Warden. Me! A Grey Warden! This is not how I expected my life to turn out. I could hardly believe that I was far from home, killing Darkspawn with my dog and a man I barely knew, but was supposed to trust with my life. The only option I had at this point was to keep killing, to keep slashing away Darkspawn until we reached that beacon. Duncan had given us this task for a reason and we had to succeed.

The four of us, Victor, Alistair, the mage, and I fought our way to the steps, a path of dead bodies behind us. When we reached the door, Alistair looked at me seriously, "Be on your guard."

I nodded and took a deep breath just as he opened the door. There were barriers in the main hall and I suddenly had a flash back of running through my own home, fighting for my life, for my family's lives. I began walking trying to shake the terrible feelings that were boiling inside me. Before I got too far though, I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist and pull me back with a great force. I let out a startled yelp and before I could say anything I heard Alistair say in my ear, "There's a trap." I tried to ignore the feel of his breath on my neck and the way he held me close against him. This was not the time or place for such thoughts. The fact that I missed a trap goes to show that if I don't stay focused, I will die here tonight. I pulled out of Alistair's grasp and disabled the trap. But just then about six Darkspawn appeared behind the barriers. I heard the mage's bursts of power echo in the hall as he began shooting at them. Alistair and Victor bolted past me, ready to kill. I followed, my dual swords swinging and stabbing toward the next door. I noticed a rather nasty creature appear behind the mage, crossbow pointed at him. Before he could shoot, I reached in my boot and pulled out my dagger, throwing it with all the force I could right into the creature's head. The mage looked at me, wide eyed for a moment and then nodded in thanks. We continued on.

Each floor of the tower was just like the last, full of scabby, oozing creatures. I had heard tales of the Darkspawn but never had I ever thought I would see them up close. I would never have believed anyone who were to tell me that someday I would be killing them myself. I was a Lady of Highever. And while I have always longed to go to battle, to prove my skill and strength, I never thought that my chance to do so would be like this, under these circumstances. I didn't even know what my life was anymore. Who was I without a title? Without the luxuries of home? Who was I?

"Drovana!" Alistair shouted, looking behind me. I turned swiftly, coming face to face with a tall demon creature who was attempting to thrust a sword into me. But I shifted quickly and I felt the blade brush my bicep. It stung instantly but I used my other arm to swing low across the belly of the Darkspawn. It fell to the ground and before it could get up again, I thrust my sword into it's head. I turned and ran toward the door with the rest of my group.

"Are you okay?" Alistair asked, reaching for my arm but I pulled away.

"It's just a scratch," I lied.

"Let me help with that." The mage said, pointing his staff in the air. I suddenly felt a strange itch on the wound and it took everything I had in me not to touch it. But then suddenly the pain was gone.

"Better?" The mage asked and I nodded, giving him a quick thank you.

"The beacon is beyond this door," Alistair said, his tone hinting at the dangers we could find on the other side. Victor let out a loud, aggressive howl, obviously sensing something we couldn't yet see. The sound made both Alistair and I exchange nervous glances. But rather than address it, we all nodded at each other and continued forward through the tall, heavy doors.

I wouldn't say that I was a sheltered woman. I read stories, listened to the tales the guards told while they rested in the courtyard of my home in between their shifts. Both of my parent's made sure I was well trained in combat. I grew up sparring with my brother Fergus or off duty guards in between my academic lessons and after dinner when the sun was still out. I knew things. And I was talented. But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for what I was looking at in the top floor of this tower. It was a creature so large, I wondered how it even fit through the door to get up here. It was hunched over, back facing us and by the sounds of it, it chewing on something. It only took me a second to realize the sound was it's teeth grinding against bones. The bones of the guards were sent here to protect this tower. The creature turned around and I recognized it immediately from the bestiary my father kept in his study. When we were little, Fergus and I would lay on the floor of his room, flipping through it while making up stories about each creature. I remember this one in particular because Fergus used to joke that I looked like an ogre. Never did I think that I would get to see up close in personal that I did not, in fact, at all resemble an ogre. The beast growled loudly, shaking me back to reality and we all charged at it.

"Light the beacon!" The mage shouted, "We will hold it off!" And so I ran toward the large fireplace. Before I could reach it though, I was swapped to the side, hitting a pillar hard. I heard something inside me crack and the splitting pain in my side was instant. But I pressed on, turning toward the ogre, slashing at it's thighs, hoping to bring it down to the ground. Victor was biting at the creature's ankles and I caught Alistair in the corner of my eye, lunging forward, thrusting his sword wildly trying to pierce the ogre's hide deep enough to do serious damage. But it was clear we were doing little to it. The mage was trying too hard to keep us healed to add to the damage.

"Piss it." I said I under my breath, inhaling deeply and leaping onto the huge ogre. I could hear Alistair protesting, "What are you doing!?" And I could hear Victor's worried barks. But I knew this was the only way. I climbed up further on to the creature, stabbing as I went. It was too busy trying fend off my companions to try and get at me as well. I found myself straddling the ogre's shoulders and with one swift thrust, my dagger was lodged in it's head and I used my sword to cut into it's back. The ogre let out a terrible howl and began to teeter. I leapt down just as it fell to the floor with a hard thud. I didn't even hesitate or celebrate the small victory. I went straight for the beacon and lit it. I turned around and Alistair was giving me a relieved and exhausted smile, he bent over, hands on his knees trying to catch his breath but then suddenly, we were swarmed. Alistair shot up, his sword swinging and I suddenly felt a terrible and sharp pain in the my shoulder. I fell to the ground and I could feel tears in my eyes. And then everything went blank.


	2. Chapter 2

_My eye sight was blurry and my legs were like stone. I was standing in the main hall of my home at Cousland Castle and tears were streaming down my face, sobs wracking my body. In front of me, my whole family was being slaughtered by Howe's guards. Arl Howe was looking on with an amused smile. He turned to me, sneering, "You'll die, just like them." Rage filled me. I wanted to decapitate him, but I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. I was helpless and my family was dying, their screams swarming my head, clouding everything. Suddenly, I saw Duncan run into the hall, his strong body sprinting toward me and a look of determination in his eyes. He grabbed me and pulled me toward the door and I was screaming and kicking, begging him to let me go, to help me protect my family. And then everything started to fade again. Alistair stood in front of me. We were standing in front of a sunken dome in the middle of the Wilds, "Please wake up, Drovana. Please." He had tears in his eyes and he kept reaching for me but I was involuntarily backing away, moving farther from him. He kept saying it over and over, "Wake up, please. Please, wake up," and I wanted to tell him that I was awake but nothing would come out of my mouth. He kept begging and then suddenly a thin veil of smoke surrounded him and he transformed into Duncan. He stepped forward, Duncan's hulking frame shadowing the sun. He took my hand, looked into my eyes, and said in a soft, nurturing voice, "It's okay. You can wake up now. You have so much to do. Wake up."_

And I did.

"Duncan!" My voice croaked and I sat straight up. I looked around, tears clouding my vision. I was in some sort of makeshift hut and there was a tall, thin figure standing near the door. It took me a moment to clear the tears from my eyes and to realize that it was Morrigan standing there. Morrigan? The women from the Wilds? Alistair had taken two other recruits and I into the Wilds before the battle to retrieve some important documents for the Grey Wardens. Morrigan was there, took us to her home where her mother was keeping the scrolls. But why was she here with me? Where was I? Where was Duncan…?

"Ahh you're awake." Morrigan said, cocking her head.

"Where am I? Where is-"

"My mother brought you here after you lit the beacon. It would appear that the army intended to respond to the beacon… quit the field."

It took me a second to collect everything she was telling me. To come to terms with the fact that I had become a Grey Warden and was not at home. That my family was dead. That everything that had transpired recently was not a terrible dream.

"Teyrn Loghain…. quit?" I asked, certain she was lying.

Morrigan nodded flatly and said, "The battle was lost and anyone who didn't run, was slaughtered, including the King."

"Duncan?" I croaked out, "Where is Dunc-"

"Dead. And your friend isn't handling that bit very well."

"My friend? Alistair is alive?!" I jumped up from the bed, realizing instantly that I was mostly naked except for a pair of undergarments covering my bottom half. I drew my arms across my bare chest, blushing under the eyes of Morrigan. She was a beautiful woman, thin and tall and dark haired. She was scantily clad in clothes that hung from her body, barely covering her breasts. I had spent most of my life covered in heavy frocks and dresses. And recently, armor. My body wasn't used to being so bare and in front of a complete stranger. She eyed me with a smirk on her face, "I assure you, it's nothing I haven't seen before." She tossed me a white tunic and I slipped it over my head. It was loose fitting and almost see-through. If I was back home, wearing something like this would cause quite a stir. But now was not the time to care about my reputation.

I adjusted myself, smoothing out my long hair, "Is he… okay?" I asked, inquiring about Alistair. I found myself nervous to see him, to see the state he could be in.

"Your friend, Alistair isn't handling the news of anything very well right now but he is unharmed." Morrigan said, watching me.

"I have to see him."

"He is just outside. My mother would like to speak with you once you have gathered yourself."

"Yes, of course. I would like to thank her for her aid." I said, silently wishing I could just retreat back to the bed and forget everything that had happened. Morrigan nodded, "Yes, well… go on then. I will make us something to eat."

"Thank you, Morrigan." I met her eyes and she cocked an eyebrow like she wanted to say something sarcastic but thought better of it. She settled for a polite, if not slightly awkward, "You are welcome," and I left the hut. I had found myself in the spot I had been not too long ago to retrieve the scrolls from Morrigan's mother. Suddenly my dog was bounding toward me, barking excitedly.

"Maker! You're alive, Victor!" I was practically sobbing. I never even thought to inquire about my dog. I guess I had assumed he had fallen on the top floor of the tower. Victor bounced around me happily and I scratched the back of his ear. I bent down and let him lick my face. He rolled over on the ground and I patted his belly. Victor was the only thing I had left of my family. I was ready to protect him with my life just to hold on to something that could remind me of my life before and keep me going.

"Thank the Maker, you're alive! I was sure you wouldn't make it through…" I heard the deep, smooth voice behind me. I turned and saw Alistair standing a few feet away near the pond. The sad look in his eye struggling to keep a relieved smile on his face. I walked toward him, "I kind of wish I wasn't." I said softly.

Alistair inhaled and exhaled, clearly understanding the feelings inside me at this moment. He shook his head, obviously trying to clear his mind but it didn't work because he said, "They are all dead… Duncan is, Duncan's…"

"I know." I cut him off. It pained me to see the struggle he was going through. His handsome face torn between sadness, regret, and relief to be alive.

"If it weren't for Morrigan's mother we would surely be dead too. None of this seems real. I keep hoping that I am just in a terrible nightmare." Alistair said softly.

The voice of Morrigan's mother was suddenly present, "See? I told you that your Warden friend would be fine." Alistair and I both turned to see the old woman walking toward us from around the hut. She had a proud look on her face but altogether seemed to look the same as she did when we encountered her before the battle. She looked frail and weathered but something inside me told me not to let her looks be deceiving.

"Thank you for rescuing us." I said genuinely.

"Yes," Alistair half-heartedly agreed, "But I have to ask, what is your name? It seems we should know the name of the woman who rescued us."

"Names are pretty but useless." The woman said, a hint of annoyance in her voice, "The Chasind call me Flemeth. I suppose you may as well."

Alistair and I exchanged shocked looks and he spoke first, "_The _Flemeth?" He asked incredulously, "From the legends?"

"Impossible!" I spoke up, "You're the Witch of the Wilds?" And here was yet another encounter I never dreamed I would have. The Witch of the Wilds was a tale, something used to scare children. She wasn't a real person. And she certainly couldn't have been one who saved soldiers from their deaths.

"Impossible? Well, I suppose it was too much expect real gratitude for saving your lives." Flemeth chided, "Rather than focusing on who I am, you should be asking yourselves why you were betrayed and what you plan to do about it."

I thought back to what Morrigan said in the hut, that Loghain abandoned the battle, letting everyone die. Duncan and the King included. I looked at Alistair who was forming his words carefully. I could see that even after all that had happened, he still trying to be polite, "I don't know why Loghain would do what he did." Alistair said, his voice small but with a hint of edge to it.

"Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature," Flemeth said ominously, "He probably believes the Blight isn't a threat at all, that he can out maneuver it. He doesn't see the true evil behind it."

Alistair raised his eyes from the ground and looked at Flemeth, a hint of terror in his eyes and his tone serious, "The Archdemon."

"Okay," I said carefully, "So, we find the Archdemon and we kill it. Then we deal with Loghain."

"Kill it? By ourselves?" Alistair shook his head giving me a look like I was covered in Frogs or warts, "It's not that easy. A Blight needs armies, armies I have no idea how to form. Loghain just made sure that the country is more divided now more than ever. No, it's just… it's not that easy, Drovana."

Flemish gave him a skeptical look, "Do the Grey Wardens not have allies? Surely forming an army would be the proper first step in all of this."

Alistair was mulling things over in his head and I wondered if his head was messier than mine. I wondered then if the two people like us would be capable of anything after having lost so much so quickly. We were two broken people who were suddenly expected to repair the world. It seemed tragic. I was just about to express how hopeless the situation was when Alistair finally spoke, "What about Arl Eamon? His troops weren't at Ostagar. We could appeal to him for help. I know him personally and know that he is a good man. He is surely to have some idea of what to do."

"Alistair," I addressed him carefully. I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I didn't want to say something that would kill this new found hope that was starting to form in him, "We need more than an army from Redcliffe. We are talking about a Blight here."

Alistair looked around, stuck once again inside his head and then spoke suddenly, the small hint of hope in his voice increasing, "The treaties!"

"What about them?" I asked, feeling a chill in the air and realizing that this tunic was doing me no good out here. I crossed my arms to hold in the heat of my own body. Or maybe it was just the chill of uncertainty.

"The Grey Wardens have the power to demand the aid of the elves, dwarves, and mages. It's all written in the treaties we gathered before the battle. If we can convince them that the Blight is a real, true threat…"

"Now you're on to it." Flemeth laughed, "I guess you weren't as much of a fool as I earlier believed."'

Alistair glared at her, "Wow, thanks. You're a true motivator."

I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore their banter, "Well, if we can get these factions together and with the help of the Arl…"

"It would be an army," Flemeth said flatly.

Alistair and I exchanged looks and for the first time I felt strong, like maybe all would not be lost. Alistair must have felt the same thing because he said, "So, let's do it. Let's go to Redcliffe, let's go to the mage's circle and to these other places, let's build an army."

"So it seems you are ready to stop milling about and actually do your duty as Grey Wardens," Flemeth said.

I was at the point where I was done dealing with Flemeth's side ways insults so I spoke as pointedly as I could, "Thank you so much for your help, Flemeth. But we should probably be on our way soon." Just then, Morrigan came out of the hut talking about the stew that was cooking and who was staying for dinner. Flemeth eyed me, seeing though my faux-politeness but giving me a grin.

"My daughter, Morrigan will accompany you." She said and not as a request, but a demand.

Morrigan, Alistair, and I all had the same reaction, "What?!"

Flemeth laughed heartily, "Oh, don't be so dramatic. She will be of use to you, I am sure."

"I don't have a say in the matter?" Morrigan asked, her voice higher than usual. It was clear she wasn't expecting this and well, neither was I.

"Oh calm down, girl. You have been itching to get out of the wilds for years and now here is your chance."

I looked at Morrigan and back at Flemeth, debating how to proceed. I let out a sigh, "Okay, she can come."

"Whoa whoa, what!?" Alistair obviously didn't agree with the decision but the more I thought about it the more I realized how useful it would be to have a mage with us. "Out of the Wilds, she is an apostate! She could get us in a world of trouble." Alistair explained.

"Oh hush, boy. If you can't handle us "illegal" mages, perhaps I should have left you on the tower to die."

Alistair closed his eyes, the stress of everything was obviously taking it's toll, "Point taken." He said, giving up without a fight.

"Okay then, it's decided." I said, trying to rally him but I could see it wasn't working. He was tired, sad, and if he was anything like me, he was finding little hope in our situation. But, we had to be strong and we had to stick together. I needed him to understand that.

Morrigan began to protest more and her and her mother began to argue back and forth. Alistair and I stepped away, letting them workout their quarrel.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Alistair asked, looking down at me. I hated the defeated look in his eyes. He was so handsome and when I first met him in the ruins of Ostagar, I remember thinking how kind his eyes were. How kind he was. And now here I was hoping that all this tragedy didn't change him or take away from his boyish charm. The kindness was still there but half hidden by his sadness. I instinctively reached my hand out to him but pulled back quickly thinking better of it.

"Yes, I think it's a good idea. I mean, what other options do we have?"

He nodded slowly, taking in my words, "I suppose you're right. We need all the help we can get. I just want to make sure we can trust her and if you do, then I do too."

Morrigan approached us just then, "Well it appears I am at your disposal." She said, her tone dripping in irritation as if we had just interrupted her while she was knitting a dress or while she was enjoying afternoon tea.

"Morrigan, I really am glad to have you-"

"Please, spare me the corny sentiments. We should be on our way. I suggest we make a stop to a village not far from here and gather supplies. Unless of course you rather I not offer such ideas. I don't mind standing idly by while you two argue over where to go next."

I let out a laugh, "I assure you that I would much prefer you speak your mind."

It was Flemeth's turn to laugh at that, "You will regret saying that," She teased and Morrigan rolled her eyes before changing the subject by saying, "Well, we should be on our way. Goodbye mother. Please try make sure you take care of yourself while I am away."

"Don't worry about me, girl. There are far more important things you should be concerned about."

Morrigan gave her a curt nod and I could see that she was hurt by the fact her mother could cast her off so easily. But she tried to hide it and for the most part, she hid it well.

And with that we were off. Morrigan led the way, Alistair, Victor, and I followed. I could hear Morrigan muttering curses under her breath and figured it was best to leave her to her thoughts for a little while. I knew all too well it was hard to leave home, to leave the comforts of familiarity.

When we reached a suitable area to camp for the night, both Alistair and I collapsed on the ground with heavy sighs. I heard Morrigan let out a chuckle before saying, "You do know you have to set up camp before you pass out?"

"We thought you could do it for us," Alistair joked, looking up at the stars, "Isn't that why you're here? To make our campsite magically appear with your mage skills?"

I cringed, anticipating Morrigan's retort.

"Oh Alistair, I can assure you that if I had the skill to set up a campsite with the flick of my magic wand, I would instead flick your ass right into that river over there."

Alistair laughed and sat up, "Fair enough. I suppose I should get to work then." And he started unpacking a tent that Morrigan had brought along. I continued to lay there on the ground, looking up at the sky. My body ached. While the walking didn't help any, it seemed that the task ahead of us, the idea of doing all these things and trying to save Ferelden from it's doom was settling into my bones making it seem impossible. So impossible that my body was rejecting it. I needed to not think about these things. I got up and started a fire. Once the flames were licking the air nicely, I rummaged through my pack and pulled out some dried meat, offering up some to the rest of my small party. We all sat there, gazing into the flames not really having a reason to talk or a want to talk and that was okay.

"I'll take first watch," I offered, seeing the sleepy look in Morrigan and Alistair's eyes. Victor was already curled up with himself nearby. Morrigan didn't argue, she simply crawled into her makeshift tent. Alistair moved closer to me though, his eyes still not leaving the fire pit.

"I'm glad we are doing this." He said softly.

I pulled my knees up close to me and rested my head on them, looking over at him, "I get the feeling you might be thinking differently when we are getting our asses kicked on the road."

Alistair laughed, his eyes finally leaving the flames and looked at me, "Well, maybe you will be getting your ass kicked. I am sure I will be the gallant warrior who has to swoop in and rescue you!"

"You wish."

"Yes, yes I do. I need something to prove my manhood, right?"

"Yes, I suppose you do. I will try to faint at the sight of Darkspawn in the future just to help you out a little."

Alistair feigned awe, "So sweet of you." And he paused, thinking for a moment, "But really though, I am glad we are doing this. I think Duncan would be glad to see us still trying."

I turned back toward the fire, "I think he would be too."

Alistair's eyes met mine again and we held the exchange for a moment. The fire lit up his eyes which were already a lighter twinge of hazel. He opened his mouth as if to say something as he studied my face but must have thought better of it. Instead he said, "Well, I should probably get some sleep. I will get next watch."

I watched him stand and move to his bed roll just on the other side of the tent. I couldn't see him through the flames of the fire but I knew he was there and that comforted me. I looked over a Victor, who was letting out soft puppy snores. For now, everything was peaceful and I enjoyed the company I held at the moment, even if Morrigan wasn't keen on being here and Alistair was fighting off the tragedy of losing everything he knew. As the world now stood, this is where I wanted to be, ready to fight for what was right and keep these people safe. I had to try the best I could. Failure wasn't an option.


	3. Chapter 3

"Drovana…" The sound of my name was pulling me out of a light sleep. Before I could answer the call though, a warm hand pressed against my mouth to keep me from speaking. My instant reaction was to draw the dagger from my boot and I did so swiftly.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's me." I realized it was Alistair's voice, low and deep against my ear and I could smell him. He smelled like grass and sweat and something sweet. I stopped struggling and gave him a confused glance before he whispered, "Listen, do you hear that?"

In this position, with Alistair holding me against him under the stars it was hard to hear anything besides my beating heart. But then I heard rustling and the low growl of Victor. I sat up and realized Morrigan was crouching low near her tent, her staff at the ready position. There was something coming our way and we all looked north of our camp for whatever it was to show itself. I drew myself away from Alistair and reached for my sword slowly.

"On my cue," I said quietly but loud enough for the others to hear. The rustling turned to stomping, heavy feet on the ground. Whatever was coming was coming faster and it was big. I squinted into the trees and I saw shadows, two of them maybe more. I leapt up, sword ready, "Now!" I called and we all charged forward. Before we reached the tree line, three Darkspawn appeared in our camp, flailing their weapons wildly. The biggest one was running straight for me with a spiked mace in hand. I slide beneath it before it could strike me, jumping up to my feet again on the other side and stabbed it in the back. The creature tried to keep from falling from my blow but I gave it a swift kick and it hit the ground. The others had taken down one of the other Darkspawn but were still trying to fend off the last. I ran toward it, kicking it hard to the ground which allowed Alistair the time to thrust his sword into it, killing the creature instantly.

Morrigan looked at me like it was my fault our camp was attacked, "Is it too much to ask to have them wait until I am awake to attack us? I need my sleep."

"I think they were scouts," Alistair said, ignoring Morrigan and looking at me, "We should go before more show up."

I agreed and we all went back to the fire to pack up. It wasn't daylight yet but I was sure it wasn't far off, "How much farther until we reach the village?" I asked Morrigan, who was strapping a pack to her back along with her staff.

"Well, if we leave now, we should be there by mid-afternoon. This of course depends on whether or not you plan to attract more Darkspawn."

"Yes, that is what I am doing… attracting them. Clearly they can't keep away from my witty jokes and the radiance I give off from not bathing." I rolled my eyes.

Alistair laughed at that, "You are kind of cute when you're dirty. It must be the color of grass stains brings out your eyes." He teased and I tried to hide my smile by scowling at him, "Yeah, you won't be thinking I am very cute when I sick Victor on you." I mumbled, rolling up my sleeping bag. Victor growled in agreement.

"Okay, okay, I surrender." He put up his hands to show he had. Morrigan remained silent, I could only guess what she was holding back.

We reached the small village of Lothering by mid afternoon just as Morrigan had expected. We encountered several bandits on our way into the village but it was easy enough to talk them out of robbing us. They were dimwitted fools and I could tell that the sight of Morrigan was a distraction for them. The apparent leader of the group couldn't stop looking at the way Morrigan's clothes hung off her just enough to see the side of her breasts and the way her slender waist curved slightly. I took the opportunity to persuade his distracted mind into letting us pass. Alistair laughed at how easily men can be distracted by pretty women. Morrigan pretended to take the compliment that Alistair offered, "Oh, well… you think I'm pretty!" She had laughed. Alistair flushed instantly but retorted, "Well of course you are, but trust me… your personality makes me want to run in the other direction."

"Good." Morrigan seemed satisfied with that and led us into the village.

Walking into Lothering, I looked around realizing I wasn't expecting this. As we walked toward the center of the small village, I realized that most of the people crowding the area were refugees, most likely fleeing Darkspawn. There were children with dirty faces running around their parents, asking questions like, "when can we go home?" and "when can we eat?" My heart began to hurt for them. Those that weren't here seeking a safe haven were running around helping people as best they could. I looked at Alistair and could see he was struggling to deal with the sight before us. He caught my eye and shook his head, "These poor people."

I looked ahead again and saw a Templar waving us down, "Excuse me! I hope you don't plan on staying at the inn or the Chantry. It's all full!" I approached the man and explained that we were Grey Wardens, just passing through for supplies. I didn't at expect his reply.

"Grey Wardens! Well, Teryn Loghain has a bounty on the heads of any Wardens. He says you killed the King and caused the the failure of the battle at Ostagar," the Templar said, looking at us wide eyed, shocked that we had even revealed ourselves. Before I could reply, Alistair's angry voice sounded next to me, "What? Loghain is the traitor!" I turned toward him and gave him a look, "Alistair, keep your voice down, please. We can figure this out." But Alistair was livid. I could see it in his posture, his tense muscles and the rage in his voice, "Loghain thinks he can just spread lies like this!? He is going to pay for what he has done!"

The Templar spoke again, his voice lower, "I knew that Loghain wasn't to be trusted. I never believed the Wardens would be so cruel as to kill the King."

I looked at him, pleased to see that he had some sympathy for the situation, "Thank you, ser. Now, if you could tell us where we could get some supplies so we can be on our way…"

"Yes, yes of course. There is an inn just beyond that bridge," He pointed, "They should be able to help you out and for a good price."

I nodded a thank you and guided the others away. I could still feel Alistair stewing though and I was worried for him, what he might do. No one makes good decisions angry and the last thing I needed was a hot headed Alistair causing a stir. Not when there was apparently a bounty on our heads.

It seemed that Lothering was in dire need of help. There were several crews of bandits that had taken up residence outside of town and everyone we came across had asked us if we could help get rid of them. Much to Morrigan's dismay, we helped. Killing people trying to take advantage of the tragic events of Ostagar fueled Alistair and I. The area we cleaned out of scum happened to be a nice area that we could make camp at later. But what we didn't expect, was to come across a Quanari warrior named Sten, caged up like a prisoner. When we had approached the large man, he gave me a look like I was mocking him.

"Why do you stare?" He asked, eyes locked on mine.

"I am wondering how you ended up here." I said honestly. Morrigan mentioned how cruel it was to have someone caged up as bait for Darkspawn and I realized she was right. Everything about him seemed off and yet I felt like we could use him. After some convincing from the Chantry, we released the Quanari warrior and he agreed to assist on our quest even though he seemed confused by our intentions. I decided to send Morrigan and him to set up a small camp for us to use for the night since there was no way we would be traveling overnight.

"Those two make quite a pair," Alistair said watching Morrigan and Sten walk to the outskirts of the village.

I let out a laugh because they did look odd together. Morrigan was so lithe and Sten so bulky and hard. Seeing them walk next to each other emphasized these things about them, "Indeed. I am beginning to think all of us are quite an odd bunch," I looked down at Victor who was digging holes in the ground. That dog was fierce, but the moment he was distracted he was a big dummy. I looked back up at Alistair and he caught my eye, "I suppose it will be nice to not be the only man. I was beginning to feel a little left out," he said, walking ahead of me toward the inn. I followed, teasing, "Oh well, I surely hope you and Sten find many things to bond on, like swords and daggers and all the silly things boys enjoy."

"Boys? I am a man and it's best you respect that!" Alistair faked offense and I laughed, "And besides, I saw the excitement in your eyes when we found that dagger you carry on your back right now. Something tells me that if I wanted to talk weapons, I have the only person I need right here." Alistair's words stopped me in my tracks, "the only person I need," ringing in my head. I blushed and looked at Alistair who must have realized his choice of words as well because he was flushed.

"I mean, you know…" He was saying quickly and stuttering, "about the weapons…hmm, yeah, let's just… go."

We entered the inn to find it packed full and loud. There were several soldiers standing near the bar, clanking their pints and laughing. When they took notice to Alistair and I, they went quiet, as did everyone else in the place. It was as if their entertainment had suddenly arrived.

A bulky, dark haired soldier stepped forward, "Well well, look what we have here… I think today might be our lucky day."

"Loghain's men." Alistair whispered next to me and we exchanged a careful glance.

The soldier's men began to form around their supposed leader who was approaching us. One of them leaned in, "Weren't we informed to keep a look out for a woman matching her description? Everyone in the village said they hadn't seen her." he said, pointing right at me. This isn't going to end well.

"It seems we were lied to." The lead soldier said, annoyance and anger edged his voice.

Alistair took a step forward, about to protest or try and get us out of this situation we had so quickly gotten ourselves into but a young woman in Chantry robes intervened, her beautiful heart shaped face giving her an innocent look, but I could hear the edge in her voice. And she was small but clearly walked with poise and strength, "Gentlemen," She said kindly to the soldiers, her accent familiar but I couldn't keep my focus away from the soldiers. They could pounce at any moment, "These are just some poor souls seeking refuge." The woman was reasoning with them. I wasn't sure if it was because she saw it as her duty to keep the peace for if her intentions lay elsewhere. Either way, I was grateful because I needed to figure a way out of this.

"Out of the way sister," the harsh voice of the soldier spoke, "If you are protecting these traitors then you can expect the same punishment."

"Traitors!?" Alistair shouted, startling me, "It's Teryn Loghain who's the traitor!"

Before I could hush him or smooth things over, I heard the sound of swords being drawn. Well, it looks like we are fighting. I let out a sigh and quickly drew my weapons, Alistair did the same and to my shock so did the woman in Chantry robes.

"Take the Warden alive! Kill the rest!" The soldier yelled and before they could all react, Alistair and I leapt forward, fighting our way through the men. I could barely see the sister but I felt her around me. She was quick and graceful. Her small frame dodging and leaping through the crowd of soldiers, taking them down. The captain surrendered suddenly, when he realized all of his men were dead.

"I surrendor! You've won!" He shouted and the three of us came to a halt.

"Good! We can stop fighting now that you have taught this man a reasonable lesson." The sister said.

"Take a message to Loghain," I said to the soldier, "Tell him that he will pay for what he has done because we are coming for him."

"Yes! Yes of course." The soldier ran out of the inn like a scared child and I turned toward the sister.

"You aren't what I expected." I laughed.

"I suppose I should introduce myself…" The woman smiled, "I am Leliana of the Chantry here in Lothering."

"Pleased to meet you, Leliana. Thank you for trying to help us back there," Alistair said, giving a short bow. I rolled my eyes, he is always trying to be so polite.

"This is Alistair and I am Drovana. We have two others in our party, a mage named Morrigan and you probably know of Sten, considering the Chantry imprisoned him. We have recruited him to help us."

"So you are Grey Wardens! You will be killing darkspawn? I mean, that's what Grey Wardens do…" Leliana was nervous suddenly as she spoke and I started to wonder her intentions after all.

"Yes, that is our plan." I smiled skeptically.

"Then you will need all of the help you can get. That's why I am coming along," She said and it wasn't even a question.

"Uh, are you sure?" Alistair eyed her.

"Of course. The Maker told me to." She said seriously. Both Alistair and I laughed and she looked at us very seriously, our laughter dying away.

"Can you… elaborate?" I asked.

"I know that sounds… insane. But it's true. I had a dream- a vision."

Alistair leaned in toward me, "More crazy? I thought we were all full up." He whispered. I elbowed him and he let out a pained grunt and stood straight again.

"Please, let me help. All of this death and despair, it's not what the Maker wants. At least give me a chance to help," Leliana pleaded and I saw something in her, maybe it was the sadness that I realized hung just behind her eyes or the determination in her voice, either way, I wanted to help her. And if helping her meant her helping us, then there couldn't be harm in that.

"Very well." I said, "I suppose it would be silly to turn away someone who wants to help."

"Uh…" Alistair let out next to me, "Are you-"

"Yes." I interjected. I got the feeling he was going to be asking me that a lot on this strange, suicidal journey.

"Thank you!" Leliana said "I will not let you down!"

We bought up most of what we could from a man in the inn, food, poultices, flasks, herbs, anything that was easy to carry and would be of use. By the time we walked out of the inn it was getting dark. Morrigan, Alistair, and I had agreed earlier that we shouldn't leave Lothering at night because we weren't sure what would be on the roads once darkness hit. So Leliana, Alistair, and I headed for the outskirts of the village, looking for the place where Morrigan and Sten had hopefully set up some sort of camp for the night. When we approached, there were several bodies laying nearby and my heart clenched up. I was terrified suddenly that Morrigan or Sten were just going to start killing people at will and that every trust I placed in them would be gone.

"These men," Morrigan waved her hand about, indicating the bodies, "Had come for your head to collect on your bounty."

My heart sank. These refugees risked their lives, probably for money they desperately needed… because of me. And now they were dead. No money. No hope. Just dead. I walked toward the fire and around it, away from my group without speaking. I vaguely heard Leliana introduce herself to Morrigan and Sten but I was so focused on trying not to cry, I couldn't hear Morrigan protest our new addition. I fell to my knees and sat there, trying to think my way through everything happening in my head. I couldn't stop seeing the faces of my mother and father. I wanted them here so badly that there was a never-ending ache inside of me, one that turned into a sharp pain when I focused my thoughts on them.

"Are you okay?" Alistair was suddenly next to me and he sank to the ground, crossing his legs.

Everything inside me came out in one long sentence and I couldn't stop myself. All the feelings I had been holding back just burst out of me, I could feel the tears streaming down my face the moment I spoke, "I miss my family and my life and those men over there are dead because of me because of the money they needed to survive and everything just hurts so much and Loghain is destroying any chance we might have at defeating the darkspawn and there is this weight on my shoulders that gets heavier with every step I take-"

My words were cut off by Alistair's embrace and soft words, "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay."

I could feel my tears wetting his tunic and I said softly into his chest, "You don't know that."

Alistair pulled away and looked into my eyes, his hands gripping my shoulders, "Okay, so I don't know that. But we can hope, can't we? Look at these people with us," He said, waving a hand toward Morrigan, Sten, and Leliana who were organizing our packs. Victor had shown up at my side. "These people, whether they will say it or not, they believe in you. I believe in you. I believe in us… in our abilities and our strengths. I know that things seem bleak and that I haven't been completely mentally present but we can do this. And if it turns out that we can't, then we sure as hell won't be going out without a fight."

I smiled at his words, "Duncan would be proud of you."

"And your family would be proud of you."

I let out a heavy sigh and looked at the fire, feeling all of those pent up thoughts release helped relieve at least some of the ache. I looked at Alistair, who was still looking at me with a concerned look in his eyes. I looked at the slightly damp spot on his shirt, "Sorry… for crying on you."

"Don't apologize, that's why I am here. Shoulder to cry on, verbal punching bag for Morrigan, token whiner… just keeping to my role."

I offered an amused grin but didn't respond, it felt good to just let go like that for a moment. I looked back at the fire. I could see the shapes of the rest of my companions, preparing themselves for our long journey tomorrow. Alistair was right, these people had hope. Even if they won't say it, even if Morrigan refuses to believe in anything and Sten stays cold as a stone, they wouldn't be here if they didn't have to be or want to be. That was hope.

Alistair spoke again, startling me out of my head, "Tell me about your family."

Just thinking about where to begin gave me that sharp pain inside me again but I realized I wanted to talk about them. I wanted to be able to share my memories of them. So I did. I talked about Fergus and how him and I would tell stories to each other about creatures we didn't think actually existed. How I would hide behind doors just to scare him when he came into a room. I told Alistair about my mother, who was strong and who taught me the best place to hide a dagger under my dresses. I told him about my father and how when I was 8, he taught me to wield a sword and how his guards would teach me tips and tricks like how to look for a person's weak spot.

"One time, my father walked in on my mother strapping a dagger to the inside of my shoe and my father laughed and laughed and said that I would never have to worry about unwanted attention from men, that he wouldn't have to worry about me because I could obviously take care of myself. And he was right. This nobleman who was visiting my father once when I was about 16 or 17, cornered me in the back of the dining hall when no one was looking. He tried to lift up my skirts but I pulled my dagger out so fast, the man practically pissed himself."

Alistair let out a booming laugh before nudging me and saying, "You're pretty incredible, you know that?"

"You obviously haven't been around a lot of women." I half teased. I never really thought about myself as incredible but either way, it was a nice compliment and it made blush.

"I can't tell if that's an insult to you or me…" Alistair said thoughtfully, "But either way, I stand by my words. Remind me never to cross you."

There was a moment of pause between us before I finally said, "Well, I suppose we should try and get some sleep."

"Yes, yes we should. Goodnight, Drovana." Alistair stood up and started to walk away but I called out to him. He turned and looked down at me and I looked up at him, "Thank you, Alistair, for-"

"No need, it was my pleasure." He said quickly with a short nod of his head and walked away.

Between the huge mess of emotions and thoughts in my head, the plans, the imminent death we were all facing, and this huge task that just seemed too big… there was one clear thought that stood out face first in front of everything, warning me, "Don't fall for Alistair."


End file.
